I’m not really sure why but it seems that people have always felt compelled to tell me damnest things. So I thought it would be appropriate to share some of them with you. Why should I be the only one to say, are you serious?

In the mid 90’s I worked for a large cabinet maker on the 3pm to 11pm shift. One Saturday we were scheduled to work four hours overtime. When my shift was over I decided to stop at the local Denny’s to see my friend, Carol. Now this is one of the very few Denny’s that has a lounge in it. It was very tiny, my guess is it was intented to be a storage area but since it was located right off a major interstate they decided to use the area for a lounge to accommidate the traveler and the truck drivers. So there was only room for eight bar stools and two tables that seated two each. A full bar consisted of twelve people. This particular night as fate would have it, the bar was full. I went it and thought that I would just say hi to Carol and then be on my merry way. When I walked in the gentleman sitting in the stool at the far end of the bar got up and offered me his seat. He said that he was a truck driver and had been sitting all day. Now you don’t have to ask me but once so I thanked him and accepted is offer. Carol brought me my usual, coffee, black. I spent the next ten minutes or so chit chatting with her as she moved up and down the bar, making sure everyone was taken care of. Now the nice man that had given up his seat for me stood quietly next to me, sipping on his Coor’s Light. After about ten minutes he turned to me, extented his hand and said, “Hi, my name is Joe and I have a 9½ dick.” Now trust me, this was one of those times when I said to myself, “ARE YOU SERIOUS?” So really, what do you say to something like that. Shaking his hand wasn’t really appropriate, after all he introduce himself but he also introduced his buddy and I wasn’t going to shake his hand too. So with me, being me, I started yelling for Carol, waving my hands and motioning for her to come to me. Of course, I was introducing her to Joe and his 9½ inch friend at the same time. Now part of my job required me to have a tape measure, which I carried in my purse all the time, so what do I do? I pull it out and show Joe how long 9½ inches is, at the same time yelling, he says he has 9½ inches. So what does Joe say to me? “If you didn’t want to know, why did you ask?” “ARE YOU SERIOUS?” I hadn’t spoken to the man up until he introduced himself! He continued to insist that it was true and even offered to show me. LOL Which I graciously declined. Now it’s not really that I didn’t believe that he was so well endowed, he very well may have been but what would possess someone to tell me that? All I could think is, what an ass. I saw Joe in there again about six months later, he didn’t off to show me anything and I didn’t ask. After that night, I have decided if someone is that proud and wants to show me, I am going to look. So Joe, if you’re out there, I’m ready to see that 9½ incher because I just have to know, “ARE YOU SERIOUS?”